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for gay boys who don't have thick thighs and bubble butts

for gay boys who don't have thick thighs and bubble butts

Everyday I stare at these perfect men. It’s hard to get away from them. We live in a digital age where you roll over and grab your cell phone, and thanks to Instagram's new algorithm you're hit with the most liked photos on your timeline. And it doesn't stop there, on Twitter and Tumblr too you're faced with the elite gays with 300 or more comments under their pictures. And that “k” at the end of their follower count? That’s how you know that they are top-tier. Every gay's man crush, body or boyfriend goals. They all have perfectly sculpted bodies, small waists, killer hips and thick thighs. Six packs that they must have come out of the womb with, and the fattest asses -- maybe they’re born with it, maybe it’s silicone.

But as I stare at these men, the one’s that the guys I crush on crave, these perfect bodied bottoms -- I compare them to myself. I’m skinny, my ass is small -- but it gets the job done -- my legs are skinny, my stomach is flat without much definition, I’m not very tall, and I definitely wouldn't consider myself to be straight passing. How can I compete? How does it make you feel when the guys your s/o double taps or faves on social media look absolutely nothing like you. If these are the men he fantasizes about, is he just settling for you? These men fawn over the IG elite. Are you really that cute if a catfish isn't using your pictures on Jack’D? It feels sometimes like I’m competing with unreachable standards. I sometimes contemplate the idea of ass shots, or protein powder and lots of weights at the gym. The sad part about this is I like the way I look. I know that at some point I was completely comfortable with my lack of much body. So why do I feel pressured to change just to fit another man’s ideal body standard?

journal entry