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journal entry

I’ve spent an absurd amount of time

writing in this journal

about pointless church services

where I no longer feel like I belong

I used to walk into church

and hear the booming

sound of the organ

the crushing “bang” of the drums,

the collision of a dozen hands

and be sucked in

the worship was familial,

overwhelming

and on one accord

Now everything is off key

The notes are flatter,

the dozens of hands

have dropped to one or two

The crashing symbols fall into a “thud”

We feel like distant relatives,

ones that feel forced to attend the family reunion,

or a funeral. 

What happened?

for gay boys who don't have thick thighs and bubble butts

for gay boys who don't have thick thighs and bubble butts